A Note About Social Networking

I recently read this social networking tip from a supposed expert, who was talking about how to capture the interest of the company you’re interested in, without actually applying. 

He said to find employees of this company through linkedin and look at their profiles. Then when they see you checked out their profiles, they check out your profiles. At which point according to this expert, to really connect with them you need to be bold and invite them out for drinks. 

Now is this realistic that they would immediately be like—Sure! 10p.m. Friday at Joe’s. See you there!!!!!?  How often are you this friendly to complete strangers?

Below, I imagine what the reactions would be like from different folks to this completely-out-of-the-blue “Can I buy you a drink?” linkedin message:

Cop:  I can see right through you like a one-way mirror. You pay for my $20 tequila, and I get you a $40K job! In your dreams pal!

Fashion Industry Executive: I don’t drink. Or eat.

American Sign Language Interpreter: *Silently deletes Message*

Freebie Collector: Does a drink include spending the night???

Member of Alcoholic Anonymous: ALCOHOLIC!!!

Facebook Employee: STALKER!!!

Member of Alcoholic Anonymous who’s also a Facebook Employee: ALCHOLIC STALKER!!!!

ESL Teacher: What do you mean by a “drink?”

Accountant: Depends on how much the drink costs…..

Marriage Counselor: I’m glad you like my photo, but this isn’t Match.Com!!! Go and invite people for ‘drinks’ over there!!!

And finally the most popular response across all occupations: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU???

------Written by A. L. Salt © .

Yahoo Comments

Often, when I’m bored, I go to the yahoo website and see what’s in the news.

Over time though, I found that the yahoo users leaving comments after an article, are almost always more entertaining than the article itself.  

And often they have absolutely nothing to do with the article. 

Here’s a fictional exchange that I made up with fictional users, but which illustrates the sort of thing I’m talking about that’s very common:

Example of a Yahoo Article:  A Dog Had Ten Puppies.

COMMENTS:

Obsessed w/ Politics: That dog is a liberal!

Frequently-off-topic: the yahoo homepage is loading too slowly

Controversial just for the sake of it: that’s not a dog! that’s a photo of a cat!

Clueless_I_Am: I didn’t read the article……I just felt like leaving a woof-woof, I mean a comment. Dog.

                      Frequently-off-topic: Is your name really Dog? Shouldn’t be it be spelled

                      DoUg?

                      Obsessed w/ Politics: D for Democrat! Ha! I knew it!

                      Controversial just for the sake of it: When I was ten, I found a female mate

                      for my dog. I let them sleep together. Then I found out my dog was female

                      too.

                      Enthusiastic for no apparent reason: OMG!!!!

Clueless_I_Am:  I still didn’t read the article!

                      Voice of Reason11: No one cares.

Spammer:     Meet and Mingle with other idiots at idiotsmingle.com

                      Enthusiastic for no apparent reason: OMG!!!!

                      Voice of Reason11: No need for that. Just look around.

Serious Reader: What does any of this have to do with the article?

                      Obsessed w/ Politics: What does Obamacare have to do w/ America?

                      That’s right.  NOTHING.

               

------Written by A. L. Salt © .

Hiyaa

To my dear Googlers:

Welcome to my comedy blog.

What to expect: I've posted the sketches I've been writing in my spare time according to categories at the top of the blog, so they're easier to read. As I'll write more, I'll post more.

BUT not everything I post in my blog will be sketches, even though all the writing will be comedy-style.

------------------------------------------------------------

Just like not all *entry level* employees are actually entry level, even though they are all employees.

To elaborate, let's take a moment to look at the definition of entry-level:  "Appropriate for or accessible to one who is inexperienced in a field or new to a market" (Source: thefreedictionary.com).

What it does not mean: 1-3 years of related experience, previous similar jobs, knowledge of information that could only come from working in this field before, and any other creatively disguised synonyms.

However what "entry-level" is supposed to mean and what it does mean in the current landscape, are two different things.

I'd like to give a shout out to the college graduates, a shout down to the words-reshuffling HR departments (scrabble champions have nothing on them), and a moment of silence for the un-entry level workers who are forever hired as entry level.

To avoid confusing college graduates and other career changers in the future, I propose to create a new job posting category: Pre-Entry Level.

Maybe finally this will end the catch-22 that entry level jobs currently pose, and no previous experience will be required?